Dear Dad, Guess What? You're A Feminist

By Karen Sánchez Ospina, Communications and Community Engagement Associate at Girl Rising

“There’s no such thing as fear, it doesn’t exist, you gotta jump, little girl”, you said while I was hanging on a bungee trampoline, waiting for my feet to be able to move; even though I was terrified that day, you never doubted that I could do it. Although you’ve always said fear doesn’t exist, I would see it in your eyes years later, when you pronounced the same words as you waved me goodbye at an airport when I went away to college.

I have wondered for many years how you overcame your fears and the criticisms from everyone about your progressive ways of raising me and my brother. And that’s when I started questioning the system that raised you. A patriarchal system that dictates that I, as a girl and a woman, shouldn’t follow my dreams, that I was supposed to stay at home and do the chores. This system mistreats, silences, and fails to protect women and girls from an early age. And yet, you were the one who inspired me to follow my dreams of getting an education, even if that meant leaving the nest forever.

I bet there were many questions about your role: You were expected to be the sole provider, the unbreakable rock, and a fearless role model. But as years have passed, as your daughter, I have witnessed you trying to question the patriarchal system that raised you. In all honesty, you never followed the rules, and I love that about you. You raised me to have a strong voice, to be fearless, and to study to achieve my dreams.

But I know you never guessed that a couple of years later, that same voice would fight you when I saw patterns of that sexist system in you. At that time, the words exchanged were big, but you understood something was changing around you. That evening, when I came back from college, you realized you had a big challenge ahead: You were raising an active feminist daughter. A changemaker.

I questioned your words, your beliefs, and your ideas about gender. I brought you a new set of ideas and showed you the actions that supported a system that oppressed women like me and mom. As a father, you rose up to the occasion and decided it was time to change things in yourself. The change was slow but steady. I saw you washing the dishes, cooking dinner, and making the bed more often. And now, you ask me about gender-related issues and walk with me in marches to support the feminist movement. I see you questioning your peers, the men who surround you, and the issues that happen in our country.

So, Dad, I have to give it to you because you are a feminist. And though I’m not sure if you will ever understand the full meaning of the word but you embrace the unquestioning commitment to building safe spaces for women and girls around you and that’s what matters most to me. I wish all daughters get as lucky as I am to have a supportive dad like you. Thank you for being my fearless ally.

With love,

K